🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, this whole Ukraine thing, right? It’s a goddamn mess. Like trying to untangle a plate of spaghetti after a three-alarm fire. Macron, that fancy-pants Frenchman, is spouting off about twenty-six Western allies sending troops to Ukraine – land, sea, *air*. Twenty-six! Sounds like a goddamn NATO convention, only with less… *decorum*. (Takes a long drag of his espresso, eyes narrowed) The Kremlin? They’re saying "fuck that." Peskov, that mouthpiece for Putin, is practically screaming it from the rooftops. No foreign troops, capisce? They want to be the guarantors, like they’re some kind of goddamn fairy godmother. As if! Kyiv and its allies are laughing their asses off at that one. They’d trust a rabid dog with a steak knife before they’d trust Putin. Trump, that… *character*, was talking about air support, maybe. Probably. Sounds like a guy trying to get out of a commitment, doesn’t it? Zelensky’s begging for help, wants “maximum protection” for the Ukrainian skies. Poor guy's got his hands full. Reminds me of that time Paulie Walnuts got stuck with that bad batch of heroin… everyone’s looking for a way out. (Tony sighs, stirring his espresso thoughtfully) Then there’s this oil and gas thing. Trump's suggesting the EU cut off Russia’s fuel supply – strangle the war machine by choking off its cash flow. Smart move, but the EU’s only aiming for 2027. 2027?! That's like planning your retirement party when you’re still paying off your student loans, and we all know how that goes... (leans forward conspiratorially) The EU gave Russia over a billion euros in one year… *one year*! And that’s just what they *admitted* to. The actual number? Probably enough to buy a small island in the Caribbean. You know what I’d do with that kind of dough? I'd buy a couple of islands. Maybe three. Starmer, that Limey, is talking about an “unbreakable pledge.” Unbreakable my ass. Promises are like that piece of ass you got for free - you appreciate it while it lasts but you don’t bank on it being around forever. These promises sound nice and all, but they're made by politicians... who know exactly jack shit about what's going on. You can't trust these guys. (Takes another sip of espresso, the tension palpable) The whole thing's a goddamn poker game. High stakes, bluffing, backstabbing… except the chips are lives, and the pot is a country. And Putin? He's holding all the aces. For now. But even a hand like his can be beaten. You just gotta play it smart... and keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. You understand what I'm saying? *Capisce*?