🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, listen up, you wanna hear about this whole shebang in Beijing? This Xi Jinping, this… *character*, he’s throwing a party, a big fuckin’ parade, right? Eighty years since the Japs surrendered, they’re sayin’. Bullshit. It’s all about Xi showing off, makin’ himself look like the big cheese. Capisce? Eight giant flags, bigger than Paulie Walnuts' ego, flanking a picture of Mao. Like, who needs a fuckin' backdrop bigger than this whole goddamn country? These guys are serious about their symbolism, huh? It’s like they're sayin', "We're still here, motherfuckers!" And the guests? Twenty-six heads of state, including that Putin clown and that little Kim Jong Un, the kinda guy you wouldn't trust to watch your back at a freakin' pizza place. Xi’s got ‘em all sittin' pretty, like some kinda goddamn king. He’s probably got them all on the take, too. These guys are all in it for themselves, you know what I mean? It's all a big game of chess, and right now, Xi’s movin' his pawns around like a fuckin’ grandmaster. They got fifty thousand people crammed in to watch this whole thing. Fifty thousand. Can you even imagine the traffic? That’s more people than at a Meadowlands Giants game, and that’s sayin’ something. And the street, Chang'an Avenue, they opened it up for a day, so these schmucks could snap pictures with their phones. Like it’s some kinda tourist attraction. It's like the whole country is being treated to a fuckin' spectacle. A very expensive spectacle. They’re sayin’ it’s about the surrender, about victory, blah blah blah… It's about Xi Jinping showing everyone who’s boss. The guy’s got Modi comin’ over for the first time in seven years – Imagine that kind of schmoozing, getting India back in his good graces. Then he’s got this SCO summit, biggest ever – all those world leaders kissin' his ass. It's a whole different kinda olive branch than what I'm used to, though. Then you got Kim Jong Un showin' up to a military parade for the first time since 1959. That’s gotta be a fuckin' major win for Xi, the kinda thing you don't get without some serious backroom deals. It’s like a big, powerful message, you know? One that makes the whole damn world take notice, the way a good hit to the kneecaps makes a guy reconsider his choices. This whole thing? It’s a power play, pure and simple. Xi’s sayin’, “Hey America, we're comin’ for you.” He's showin' off his military might, his economic clout, his whole goddamn arsenal. It’s a warning, a display of strength that's as clear as a mob hit. He’s flexing. Making a goddamn statement. And frankly, it's kinda impressive. Even for a commie. But you gotta admire the ambition. The sheer, unadulterated balls of the guy. He’s a real player, this Xi. A real *player*. Now, if only I could get my hands on some of those floral arrangements… They’d look nice in front of the Bada Bing. Just sayin’.