🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, Paulie, lemme tell ya somethin’. I was readin’ the news, alright? This whole fuckin’ week’s been a rollercoaster, just like that time I had to make a run to Philly and the fuckin' Turnpike was jammed worse than a Christmas Eve at the Garden State. Anyway, this is what they were sayin’… First off, they got some bird-watching contest in Hong Kong. Bird *watching*? These guys ain’t watchin’ nothin’ but their own asses, I tell ya. Dressin’ up, mimickin’ bird calls… sounds like a bunch of fuckin’ pigeons themselves, clucking for scraps. The winner, some guy named Bob Chan, did a Eurasian tree sparrow. A *sparrow*? Fuggedaboutit. I’d expect more from a bunch of Chinamen, honestly. Over 580 bird species, they say. Sounds like more work for the exterminators, that's for sure. Then, bam! Meteors over Japan. Fuckin’ space rocks burnin’ up. Reminds me of that time Livia was on my case… felt like a meteor shower of complaints every day. She’d find something to get on my case about. Always. Anyway, next thing, you got these goofballs walkin’ on a tightrope, a two-centimeter-wide thing a kilometer long. These guys are braver than I am. I’m not even climbing on the roof to fix the satellite dish, and I'm sure as hell not walking on a two-centimeter-wide wire, especially if there’s even a small chance of falling. Then comes the real shit. Pakistan gets hit with flash floods. Two hundred people dead, Paulie. Two hundred! That’s… that’s a lot of dead people. This ain't no small-time thing like a couple of wise guys getting whacked. These are *people*, families, lives…gone in a flash. Mud, debris… the whole damn works. You know, this reminds me of that time the Jersey Shore got hit by a hurricane. Chaos. Devastation. Only this is worse, way worse. Meanwhile, in Singapore, some power goes out, and people gotta walk across these elevated walkways, like some kinda fuckin' post-apocalyptic movie. Fuckin’ ridiculous. And get this – Robot Olympics in China. Robots playin’ soccer, dancin’… sounds like a bunch of fuckin’ automatons. Next they'll be in the casinos tryin to rig the slots. It's only a matter of time, capisce? Japan’s got its Memorial Day, for the end of the war. Remember what I told you about that time I had a conversation with a Vietnam vet? War's hell, Paulie, just hell. I don't wish that on anyone. Another flood in Gansu, China. More people dead. A couple, Veer Singh and Kali Devi, lost everything while buyin’ groceries. Reminds me of that time Carmela was shopping, and she spent more than I made in a week. Only, this ain't funny, it's a tragedy. Chinese ships crashin’ into each other while chasin’ a Philippine boat… sounds like somethin’ out of a fuckin’ Looney Tunes cartoon. But this isn't a cartoon, these things have real-world consequences. A tornado in China – no casualties, thankfully. Lucky bastards. Hiroshima kids makin’ art about the atomic bomb survivors… that’s… somethin’ else. Kids shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of shit. You know, sometimes I think about my own kids… and what kind of life they're gonna have… it's a lot to think about. And it ain't easy. Then, a cloudburst traps dozens of people… fuckin’ chaos all over the world. So, Paulie, you see? Life's a goddamn mess. Birds singin', meteors fallin', robots dancin', people dyin'… it’s all the same fuckin’ thing in the end. You gotta take it as it comes, handle your business, and keep your head down. Capisce? Now, how about we get another round of espresso? This is makin' me thirsty.