🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, listen to this crap, Paulie. This is what they’re calling “news” these days. First off, some *goombahs* in LA – LA, *capisce*? – rob a store. Not a bank, not a liquor store, not even a goddamn jewelry store. *Labubu dolls*. Seven grand’s worth. Seven *thousand* dollars. For *dolls*. These things are like, what, for little girls? Fuckin’ *dolls*. Sounds like a bunch of *faggots* to me, wasting their time on this shit. The Sheriff's department's investigating, right? Like they're gonna catch these clowns. They probably took their sweet time and enjoyed a nice salami sub during the heist. Then, it’s like a fuckin’ commercial reel. Blebbering about some band from ‘96, Knebworth – who the hell cares? Then they’re talking about Gaza. Politics. Oy vey. Another headache. Reminds me of that time I tried to straighten out that dispute between Junior and that new guy, Benny Fazio. Complete clusterfuck. They throw in some circus act, a bunch of farmers’ bash – I shoulda been there with my cousin – and some other shit about giant water lilies. I don’t even *understand* what they’re saying half the time. It's all a big fuckin’ mess, like my mother-in-law's kitchen after a big Sunday dinner. Then this… this AI thing. Some journalist talking to a computer program that’s supposed to be some dead kid. A *kid*! This is where we’re at, huh? These tech guys are getting out of control, worse than Ginny Sack with those pills. I swear, soon they’ll be replacing us all with robots. These things get smarter than these so-called "intellectuals". And Jim Lovell croaked. Apollo 13 guy. Ninety-seven years old. That’s a long fuckin’ life. Probably saw a lot of shit, like me. He lived to see the moon landing, I lived to see the collapse of the USSR. Good for him. Finally, some old guy burns up in his house. These things happen, right? People die. It's the circle of life, like that fuckin’ lion documentary Livia makes me watch. This whole news thing is one big show, like a fuckin' opera but without the good parts. Just remember what I told ya, Paulie. This world is full of crazy shit. You just gotta keep your head down, stay loyal, and, most importantly, *don't get involved in no goddamn Labubu doll robberies*, *capisce*? Now, let's get some gabagool. This conversation gave me an appetite.