🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, this whole India thing, right? This fuckin’ trade deal. The whole thing’s a goddamn circus. Trump, this guy… he’s like a fuckin’ unpredictable horse, you never know which way he’s gonna bolt. One minute he’s all buddy-buddy, the next he’s threatening to slap tariffs on India like it owes him money. Twenty-five percent, he’s sayin’. Twenty-five percent! That’s a lot of gabagool, that is. He says it’s because India’s been chargin’ higher tariffs than almost anybody else. “Yeah, I think so,” he says, like it’s a fuckin’ casual Tuesday afternoon decision. A casual decision that could screw over a whole country's economy, *capisce*? The guy’s got the attention span of a gnat. August 1st is the deadline. August 1st. Mark it on your calendar, Paulie. Unless they make a deal, *bam*, tariffs. It’s like a fuckin’ ultimatum from a guy who wears more orange than a fuckin’ carrot patch. These Indian officials, they’re all over the place, too. One minute they’re sayin’ “everything’s great, we’re almost there!”, the next they’re lookin’ like they just saw a rat the size of a fuckin’ chihuahua. Reminds me of that time Chrissy tried to explain his new "business venture" – all smiles one minute, then sweating bullets the next. You never know what the fuck's going on with these guys. Trump calls India a “tariff king,” a “big abuser.” Sounds like my cousin Vinnie after a six-pack and a plate of fried calamari. Big talk, but can he back it up? We'll see. This Greer guy, the US Trade Representative – sounds like a pencil-pusher, right? He’s all “constructive discussions,” “protectionist policies.” Sounds like a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit to me. He even admits that India’s been playing it close to the vest for a long time. Duh. What the fuck did he expect? It's not like these guys are playing checkers. They had a similar situation back in April. Trump threatened tariffs, then backed down, like a scared little bitch. It's like when they were sending threats to me, I had to show up on their doorstep with a couple of guys to really drive the point home. These guys need to understand some things. They need to stop pussyfootin' around. These threats need to mean something. The BBC is reaching out to India’s commerce ministry. Fuckin’ BBC. They’re always sniffin’ around. Let ‘em sniff. They'll find nothin' but a big pile of bullshit. So, what’s the bottom line? Who the fuck knows? Trump’s unpredictable, the Indians are playing it coy, and this whole thing is a fuckin’ mess. Reminds me of that time with the garbage strike – nobody knew what the fuck was going on and the whole city started stinking. This is what happens when you deal with clowns. We’ll see what happens. But one thing's for sure, if they don't get this deal done, somebody's gonna get hurt, and it ain't gonna be the guy with the orange tan. Fuhgeddaboudit.