🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, this Goyal guy, right? India’s Commerce Minister. Says they’re makin’ “fantastic progress” on this trade deal with the States. Fantastic progress, he says. Sounds like some bullshit a fuckin’ car salesman would tell ya. (Takes a drag from his cigar, eyes narrowed) This whole thing’s a goddamn circus, see? Trump, this fat fuck, sets a deadline – August 1st. Like he's some kind of fuckin’ capo di tutti capi, dictatin’ trade deals like he’s handin’ out whacks. Twenty-six percent tariffs on Indian goods? He's threatening them, like a fuckin’ loan shark with a bad attitude. Initially paused, then extended. What a joke. (Sips his espresso) These Indians, they’ve been runnin’ back and forth to Washington more times than I’ve been to the shrink, tryin’ to get this deal done. They're sending delegations, schmoozing, probably bendin’ over backwards. Meanwhile, Trump’s spouting off about how close they are, how everything's a done deal. Sounds like the same fuckin’ song and dance he pulls with every deal. It’s all a game of poker, capisce? You gotta bluff, you gotta show a little somethin’, you gotta keep ‘em guessing. This Goyal…he’s playin’ the game, too. He says “fantastic progress.” Sure, Tony. Fantastic progress. What he *doesn't* say is what the sticking points are. They’re hagglin’ over agriculture and dairy. India wants to protect their farmers – millions of ‘em, they say. Food security and all that crap. Sounds like a lotta malarkey to me. It’s about money, see? Control. It's always about the fuckin' money. (Leans back, considering) Look, I’ve seen these kinds of negotiations. It's like a family dinner with the Lupertazzis – everyone's smilin’ and sayin' nice things but underneath, it's all about who gets the biggest piece of the pie. Washington wants access to their farm sector, a big fuckin’ market. But India's got their own interests to protect. It's a delicate balance. One wrong move, and the whole thing goes boom. (Snaps his fingers) Goyal says they might go for a smaller deal, a sectoral agreement, if they can’t get the whole shebang. That’s savvy. Sometimes you gotta take what you can get, before you end up with nothin’ at all. Like that time I got stuck with that shitty seafood restaurant – at least I got the location, right? (Chuckles darkly) So, will they reach a deal before August 1st? Who the fuck knows? Trump’s a wildcard, a loose cannon. One minute he’s all smiles, the next he’s throwin’ around tariffs like confetti at a fuckin’ parade. The Indians are playing their cards close to their chest. Smart. But even the smartest guys can get played. We'll see how this whole thing shakes out. It’s gonna be interesting, that’s for sure. Fuckin' interesting.