🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, this BBC thing… right? They’re sniffing around Suweida, Syria. Su- *wee*-da. Sounds like some kinda fancy Italian pastry, right? Except instead of cannoli cream, you got… well, you got *blood*. Hundreds of people, they say. A real mess. These Druze, some kinda religious group – I don’t even know, sounds like a fancy Olive Garden salad, but these guys are *serious*. They’re clashing with these Bedouin… desert people, all head scarves and sand. The BBC, they got within six miles. Six miles! These guys are *brave*, or maybe just *stupid*. A Syrian army commander, some pencil-necked geek, tells them, “Druze snipers, see? Biggest danger.” Like that’s news. What the *fuck* do you think happens when two groups are shooting at each other? Sniper fire's the least of their worries, I tell ya. They drove through deserted villages, all burnt out. Shell casings everywhere. Sounds familiar, huh? Like a Friday night in Newark after a bad garbage strike. Every half-mile, Syrian soldiers, young punks sipping tea. Guns by their sides. Like they’re having a picnic. A picnic with a chance of getting your head blown off. See, these guys know *exactly* what’s going on, they just don't want to be the ones to get pinched. They're playing it smart, or smart enough. Four days, the Syrian army's trying to hold a ceasefire. A ceasefire! In *Syria*? You ever try to hold a ceasefire with *Paulie Walnuts*? That’s a laugh, right? A thousand people dead. A thousand! That’s more than the fucking tomatoes I go through in a month. This ain't some Sunday sauce, this is carnage. They run into these Bedouins, hundreds of 'em, all armed and pissed off. Red and white scarves. Look like some kinda circus act, until you remember they're firing guns in the air. Defiant, huh? These guys think it's a goddamn parade, not a warzone. They want their injured buddies back – *hostages*, they call 'em. They want their guys out of Suweida, otherwise… *boom*. They're ready to go again. They'll turn it into a *cemetery*. They’re saying this shit *loud*, which to me is telling... they might not be joking around. The Druze, they’re claiming the Syrian army’s helping the Bedouins. Summary executions? You know, that's the usual bullshit when things get this nasty. Remember that time we went after that guy, the one who shorted us on that shipment of… *ahem*… *construction materials*? Similar sh*t. Everybody's pointing fingers. And who’s gonna stop it? There's a whole lotta finger pointing involved, that's for sure. Who's going to investigate? Nobody, that’s who. And that’s why nobody can get out of these things alive. This whole thing… it’s a mess. A goddamn *cazzo* of a mess. It reminds me of that time… never mind. It’s just… chaos. Pure, unadulterated chaos. And the BBC? They're just watching it all unfold, like it's a goddamn reality TV show. Bunch of *mooks*. Except these aren’t mooks, they’re *killing* each other. Maybe that’s the difference. This shit? *Fuhgeddaboudit*. Except I'm not. I can’t even start to comprehend what’s happening over there. It's… something else, entirely. I need another espresso. A double.