🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, listen to this bullshit. Six of these… *North* Koreans, right? Ended up in our waters. Accidental, they claim. Accidental like a fuckin' stray bullet accidentally hitting a guy in the head during a family picnic, *capisce*? These guys were adrift. March, these two clowns, four months they’re chilling in the South. Four months! Like a goddamn vacation, these guys are living the life. Longest recorded time for non-defectors, they say. Probably got spoiled with some decent kimchi. Forget the whole political thing, the food's probably better here. Then, four more show up in May. Sailors, these ones. Lost at sea. Little wooden boats, they say. Piece of shit boats, I'm telling you. Like tryin' to cross the Atlantic in a rowboat made of toothpicks. You know what they're made of? Probably fuckin' plywood and hope. These guys got no navigation skills, I'm thinking less "sailors" and more "human flotsam." So, this new President, Lee Jae-myung, this guy ran on improving relations with the North. Yeah, right. Like improving relations with a rabid dog. Tried to send these six back. Took *months*. Months! This ain't some fuckin' pizza delivery, this is international diplomacy, or at least it should be if you're not a bunch of clowns. Pyongyang cut off all communication back in April, so good luck gettin' ahold of anyone. Eight months later, Kim Jong Un, the little fuck, declares unification is off the table. Off the fuckin’ table! Like, I'm tellin' ya, this guy needs a reality check, and maybe some therapy. Maybe a nice long vacation...in a gulag. So, the only way to talk to these assholes is through the UN… or the media. Yeah, that's how we handle these international incidents, through the goddamn newspapers. We tried contacting 'em twice through the UN – *twice*! No response. But then, Wednesday morning, these North Korean patrol boats show up at the handover. Coincidence? I think not. There's some back-channel shit going on here, you know? Like a handshake under the table. Everyone’s playing their game. This Nam guy, some think tank expert, says, "If you set a boat adrift..." blah blah blah, risks drifting away again. Duh! You think these guys have GPS? These are North Koreans! They're using the stars for navigation. They probably think a compass is some kind of fancy soup ladle. But you know what’s funny? This whole thing reminds me of that time Paulie Walnuts tried to send that shipment of… *let's just say certain goods*… to that guy in Naples. The boat got caught in a storm, and we never saw those goods again. They probably ended up in the bottom of the Atlantic. Maybe next time we'll invest in a bigger boat, or maybe one that doesn’t rely entirely on the kindness of strangers and the whims of ocean currents. These North Koreans got lucky. And maybe Paulie didn’t. But that’s a story for another day, see? *Fuhgeddaboudit*. The point is, this whole thing is a mess. A beautiful, chaotic mess. And, uh, these North Koreans are back where they belong. For now.