🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So listen to this shit, you know? July Fourth, Independence Day, the whole shebang. Texas, right? These goddamn flash floods, wiped out the whole place. Fifty-one people dead, *fifty-one*, and they’re still lookin’ for twenty-seven *kids*. Twenty-seven! It's like some kinda fucked-up scene outta a movie, only this ain’t no movie, capisce? This is real life, and real life can be a real bitch sometimes. One broad, she was swimmin’ around, havin’ a goddamn good time the day before, "swimmin', havin' fun," she says. Next thing you know, *poof*, everything’s gone. Just like that. Reminds me of that time Paulie Walnuts invested in that lemonade stand...gone in a flash. Except this ain't no lemonade stand, this is a goddamn tragedy. Now, this Trump character, right? He's all over the news. The BBC, these guys, they're sayin’ he’s keepin’ his promises. Promises? This guy makes promises like a fuckin’ kid makin' wishes on a birthday cake. Half the time he doesn't even remember what he promised. Then there's this Diddy guy, the rapper, right? Guilty on two counts of…what was it? Prostitution? Thirteen hours the jury deliberated, three days. Thirteen hours! That’s longer than I spent plannin’ my last whacking. Although, let me tell you, that was a real piece of work. Had to get Bobby Bacala involved… anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Diddy. A real fuckin' genius, him. And get this, Trump's buildin’ a new detention center in the Everglades. The fuckin’ *Everglades*! He’s sayin’ they’re gonna teach these migrants how to run from alligators. You’re kidding me, right? It's like he's trying to make it a theme park. "Welcome to the Everglades Detention Center, folks! Don't forget your gator repellent!" Fuckin' clown. This guy, he jumped into the ocean to save his daughter. Good for him, I guess. Got some balls, that guy. Not many people would risk their life for their own kids. Actually, reminds me of the time I....Nah, forget it. It’s a long story. They’re also fightin' over his tax bill. Senators, squawking like a bunch of chickens. The whole thing is a mess, a real goddamn mess. It's like watchin' a garbage disposal eat a whole pizza. A *very* expensive pizza. Some towers, 500, 800 feet tall, fell down in Tennessee. Sixty-one years they stood, and then…*poof*. Reminds me of the old Bada Bing…almost as old. We’ll probably have to tear it down one of these days. And this Norwegian guy, they say he got sent home because of a meme. A *meme*! This is the world we live in now, huh? The world’s gone nuts. Trump threatens to bomb somebody again. No questions asked. This guy’s got less patience than a two-year-old with a chocolate cake. The Supreme Court limits judges' power. So, the president can do whatever he wants now? The law is whatever this guy says it is? This whole thing is turning into a banana republic. Some guy got some minor injuries, didn’t need hospital treatment. Fuckin’ amateurs. This is nothin', this is just a flesh wound. Anyway, another espresso? This whole thing gave me the appetite… This country’s goin' to hell in a handbasket, I tell ya. Just like that Texas flood, everything's gonna wash away one day, sooner or later... Fuhgeddaboudit.