🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, listen to this… Texas, right? Fuckin’ Texas. Twenty-four dead, minimum. Flash flood. Sounds like a goddamn movie, huh? Except this ain't no fuckin' movie. This is real life, and real life’s a lot messier than Hollywood ever makes it out to be. Especially when it involves these… *girls*. Seventy-five hundred of 'em, at some Christian summer camp. Camp Mystic. Sounds like some kinda bullshit, right? The Guadalupe River? Rose twenty-six feet in less than an hour. Twenty-six feet! That's like, Livia's blood pressure when I'm a little late for dinner. Except this ain’t a blood pressure thing, this is a catastrophic *fucking* flood. Swept away mobile homes, cars, cabins… the whole shebang. Think of it like when I had that little “misunderstanding” with that contractor, Mikey “the Wrench” DeLuca. He wanted to double-bill me. So, I “persuaded” him otherwise, you understand? This flood? It persuaded these people real quick. And get this: they’re still lookin’ for twenty-five kids. Twenty-five! Out of seven hundred and fifty. It’s like when you’re looking for a specific cannolis at that bakery in Belleville, they’re all the same to start but then suddenly… you can't find that one special one. Except these ain't no cannolis, these are… well, you get it. Little girls. Missing. They got helicopters, drones, boats… the whole nine yards. The President even weighed in. Trump. Said it was “shocking” and “terrible.” Shocking and terrible is how I feel when Carmela leaves her credit card bill out on the counter again, but this is on another level, you understand? This is… *serious*. This Lieutenant Governor, Patrick, said if you ain't heard from your kid, they're probably okay. Probably. What the fuck kind of reassurrance is that? It’s like sayin’ “Your money’s probably safe with Mikey “the Wrench,” probably. That’s no fuckin’ way to talk to parents whose daughters are missing after a goddamn flood. Now, this Judge Kelly, the big shot in Kerr County, says they had no idea this flood was coming. “No one knew!” he says. Bullshit. Maybe they didn’t know the *exact* time, but they knew the Guadalupe River’s a temperamental bitch. It’s like these fuckin’ construction guys who always say they had “no idea” a wall will collapse… *after* they did something real stupid with the foundations. You see what I mean? So, there might’ve been some shit not done right with the alerts. There’s always some fuck-up, somewhere. There always is. The camp itself… no power, no water, no wifi… the highway’s gone. Sounds like a fuckin’ nightmare. Reminds me of that time Paulie Walnuts got stuck in that blizzard. Except this ain't no blizzard. This is… well, you know what this is. A real tragedy. They’re gonna keep searchin’, they say. Until they find everybody. That’s what they say. We’ll see. This whole thing… it makes you think. About how life can change in a second. About how much we take for granted. And, yeah, about those goddamn cannolis, too. Capisce?