🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So listen, I was just readin' this rag, this… news thing, right? A real grab bag of bullshit, like a garbage can after a picnic in the park. First off, Greece. Big freakin' wildfires, hundreds of people evacuatin’. Gale force winds, huh? Sounds like a fuckin’ hurricane, only with more olive trees burnin’. These things spread faster than a rumor in this joint, you know what I mean? One minute you’re sippin’ ouzo on the beach, next thing you know your villa’s lookin’ like a Roman candle after a bad night. Six heat-related deaths in Europe? Jesus, it’s hotter than a Jersey summer already. Spain, Italy, France… These guys ain’t used to this heat, I guess. They probably think 90 degrees is a scorcher. We're tougher, we're made of sterner stuff. I mean, we've all dealt with the heat, some of us have been in worse places. These people would be sweating like a fat guy in a sauna if they had to shovel snow with Paulie Walnuts in February. Capisce? Then it gets weirder. Some couple think they won the lottery, talkin’ about gettin' married. Like that changes anything. Money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it buys you a bigger fuckin' house to be unhappy in. I know that one. And some artist makes a chair out of Swarovski crystals. A “Van Gogh” chair. Sounds like something that would end up in the dumpster. Fuhgeddaboudit. Prince of Wales bitchin’ about the oceans. What’s he gonna do, send in the Royal Navy to clean up the plastic? Leave that to the real guys, that’s all I'm sayin. Madeleine McCann, still missing. Thirteen years, man. Thirteen years. You hear that, guys? Thirteen years. Some things, you just can't fix. It's sad. It's sad, but...that’s the world. Volcano eruptin’ in the Med. Looks like a bad pizza in the oven, just full of ash and smoke. Drone attacks too. These things are getting outta hand, I'm tellin' ya. A bridge collapses in Bryansk. Russia, right? I guess even the Commies got some shoddy construction. Figures. I bet that bridge inspector took some hefty bribes. You can bet your ass he didn't live long enough to retire on those bribes. Some singer had a hit song in the noughties. Who gives a shit? I was probably doing my own kind of hit making back then. And they put up a new Stalin statue. Somethings never change. These people would rather worship a tyrant than try to build something lasting. These damn Russians. Crazy sons of bitches, these Russians. I mean, seriously. Macron gets shoved by his wife. Brigitte, right? She looks like she could take down a bear with her bare hands. That's a woman who doesn't take no shit. I kinda respect that. Some film festival got messed up. Power outages. Sounds like a real party, am I right? A big fuckin' mess. Like one of those Christmas parties we had back in the day. Some boat almost crashed into some guy's house. Close call. He didn’t even notice? The guy must be either deaf or lucky. He’s lucky to still be alive. Maybe that's how life works, a mix of luck and something else... So yeah, that’s the news. A bunch of crap, mostly. But hey, at least it keeps things interesting, right? You gotta keep your head on a swivel, always. You never know what's coming next. Now, how's that espresso?