🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝

So, this guy, Tikhanovsky… a real piece of work, this one. Five years in the can, they say. Solitary. Can you *imagine*? Five years of nothin' but the four walls and your own goddamn thoughts. I'd be screamin' for a shrink, or maybe a hitman… or both, *capisce*? I mean, even *I* get cabin fever after a week at the Bing. That place is a goddamn zoo, but at least there's some action. This guy, he was some kind of blogger, right? A YouTube guy, challenging the Big Cheese, Lukashenko. A real tough guy, huh? *Yeah, right*. This ain’t Jersey, pal. We don’t fuck around with dictators. They sprung him, though. Along with thirteen other clowns. Some kind of deal. A senior US delegation, they say. Like some kind of Godfather thing, only with less…*pizazz*. Listen, I’ve seen more charisma in a plate of lukewarm gabagool. Probably a trade, some backroom deal they made. The feds. Always playing their games. They call it "enforced exile." Sounds fancy, right? Like a vacation in the Bahamas. But this ain't no vacation. This guy's in Vilnius now, probably shakin’ in his shoes. He’s got this whole "we have to fight that" shtick, but trust me, exile's a long way from a battlefield. Unless he’s got a bigger pair of balls than he lets on, he'll just fade away. This whole family reunion thing… *Oy vey*. The wife didn't even recognize him. Lost sixty kilos, this guy. Sixty kilos! That’s like losing… I dunno… half a Paulie Walnuts. He looks like a goddamn ghost. That prison food must be worse than what they serve at that dump of a diner down on Mulberry Street. But this part gets me: The guy ran for president, calling Lukashenko a “cockroach.” A *cockroach*? That’s… kinda cute, in a suicidal kinda way. “Stop the cockroach!” What's he gonna do? Spray Raid? It’s like that time that idiot, what was his name… Carmine Lupertazzi Jr. tried to muscle in on my territory. I mean, the *kid* had more respect. So, yeah, Tikhanovsky… a brave little guy, I guess. But I'm tellin' ya, messing with dictators? That’s a game only a fool plays. And even fools understand you can only play it once. Unless you’ve got a hell of a lot of lucky breaks. This whole thing’s a mess; a big, complicated, messy, dangerous mess. But hey… at least he’s alive. For now.